BREATH ALERT
Smelled it on me
Walked into office. Boss sniffed twice. Knew immediately. Said nothing. Wrote 'garlic bandit' in my performance review. Worth it.
nut mix
A SNACK WITH NO ZIPLOCK STRATEGY
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PEPPER LEMON PANIC
00
ROGUE CHOCOLATE ORANGE
00
OUT LOUD OREGANO
00
NO CHILL LIME CHILLI
00
BERRY MISBEHAVED
00
Garlic Bread Bandit
00
Jalapeño Havoc
00
Salsa Scandal
00
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Trust me. I'm the science.
How indulgent is Garlic Bread?
We ran science on it. By "science" we mean five of us eating the pack & arguing. Here's the verdict:
01
FLAVOUR VOLUME
94%
02
GARLIC PUNCH
92%
03
Crunch Factor
89%
04
Chill Level
14%
05
Shareability
9%
What you get per 33g pack.
Never been built for sharing, The chill score is fourteen percent. The bandit score is everything else. Cravings check out. Magnesium does too.
// WHAT'S IN THE PACK, NUTRITION-WISE //
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
01
kcal
142 kcal
Enough fuel to silence cravings, talk about garlic for hours, or evade 3 social plans without remorse.
02
protein
6g protein
Enough protein to satisfy cravings, fuel a garlic monologue, or argue about Italian food for 90 minutes.
03
Magnesium
87mg Magnesium
Enough magnesium to silence cravings, justify the second pack, or eat shamelessly through the entire Sunday afternoon.
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
What’s NOT included?
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
CholesterolCholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
CholesterolCholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
Qualifications are for cowards
He's here. Deal with it
Zag lives inside the mind. Rent-free. Loud. Uninvited. Covered in tasty crumbs and questionable life choices. Try not to think about him. You will fail.
Born from a volcanic eruption of taste. Arrived with chaos-covered claws, a blank tax history, and zero patience for boring rules. Doesn't count macros. Counts conquests.
Meet Zag// moments to rip-eat-repeat //
Best eaten while…
or whenever
ZIPLOCK BROKEN
Bag won't close back
Pack opened. Tried to seal. Bag refused. Mouth refused. Both at 9pm, both at 11pm. The pantry has surrendered. Loudly.
DATE OVER
Pre-date pack regret
Date in 30 minutes. Pack open. Bandit instincts kicked in. Date arrived. Smelled evidence. Swiped right in 30 seconds!
OFFICE BANDIT
Hiding the breath
Time to take on the grifter. Inhaled the garlic power. Tongue tied the charlatan. Not a decibel raised.
NIGHT MONOLOGUE
1am garlic monologue
Pack open. Roommate sleeping. Crunch echoes. Monologue starts. By 2am I'm reviewing Italian cinema. Heady garlic with calming nuts does strange things to me.
HR EMAIL
Banned from cubicle
Three coworkers complained. HR sent email. The pack is now in my drawer. The crunch still echoes through the partition.
POST-PUMP FUEL
No guilt, just gains.
Nuts infuse fibre and magnesium into my muscles, senses surrender to the garlic bender, trainer agrees with "tomorrow 6:00 AM"
RULE BREAKER SNACK
Why should junk have all the fun?
Greasy chips had their moment. Candy had its turn. Now garlic nuts are here, tasting like indulgence, hitting like health.
Do we have policies? Zag ate the fine print.
No Returns. Only Vibes, Nuts, and Chaos
The moment you order, Zag performs a ritual. You're in Club Nuts™. We can't undo that. Returning a pack would summon Zag's lawyers. They're also crocodiles.
Low Carbon. Low Budget. High Crunch.
We don't pay influencers to look surprised near nuts. We rely on YOU, which saves electricity, cools the planet, delays the apocalypse by 9 seconds per share. You are basically a hero about to save planet Earth.
Fast-ish Delivery. Zag Is Trying.
Orders leave our top-secret Bhiwandi warehouse. If the delivery guy finds parking, Mercury isn't in retrograde, and Mumbai traffic doesn't eat itself, your nuts arrive in 2–4 days.
Here for you (sometimes).
Email us. DM us. Manifest us. We're a small team. Sometimes we're arguing about oregano ratios. Sometimes Zag has locked himself in the supply room. Will we reply? On odd days, or even or never!
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