FAKE BUSY
Pretending to work
Tab 1: spreadsheet. Tab 2: job listings. Tab 3: 47 tabs of denial. Pack 1: open.
Nut mix
Keep Calm, Have Nuts
Pick your mix —
Settle with just one? Guess not..
Unleash your inner Zag
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Trust me. I'm the science.
How loud is Oregano?
We ran science on it. By "science" we mean five of us eating the pack & arguing. Here's the verdict:
01
FLAVOUR VOLUME
92%
02
Oregano Kick
85%
03
Crunch Factor
95%
04
Chill Level
18%
05
Shareability
8%
What you get per 33g pack.
Never been thinking about sharing, The chill score is eighteen percent. The chaos score is everything else. Math checks out. Health does too.
// what's in the pack, nutrition-wise //
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
01
kcal
170 kcal
Enough fuel to ghost your ex, finish a deck, or stare at the ceiling for 45 minutes.
02
protein
6g protein
Real protein. The kind your body actually uses, not just the kind you read about.
03
magnesium
90mg magnesium
Keep calm and crunch on. Your muscles will thank you later.
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
What’s NOT included?
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
cholesterolTrans cholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
cholesterolTrans cholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
Qualifications are for cowards
He's here. Deal with it
Zag lives inside the mind. Rent-free. Loud. Uninvited. Covered in tasty crumbs and questionable life choices. Try not to think about him. You will fail.
Born from a volcanic eruption of taste. Arrived with chaos-covered claws, a blank tax history, and zero patience for boring rules. Doesn't count macros. Counts conquests.
Meet Mr.Zag// moments to rip-eat-repeat //
Best eaten while…
or whenever
ELEVATED VIEWING
Rewatching The Office
You know every line. You still laugh. The oregano gets it. The oregano always gets it.
GRAVEYARD SHIFT
3am existential crisis
Who am I? Where am I going? Why is the pack already empty? Need answers. Mostly need more nuts.
DINNER PART 2
Eating after eating
Just finished a full meal. Stomach: politely full. Brain: now we need crunch. Brain wins. Brain always wins.
PRE-CALL RITUAL
Hiding before a meeting
Camera off. Mute on. Pack open. The "running 5 min late" lie is buying you exactly enough time for one handful.
SILVER LINING
Plans got cancelled
She bailed. You're free. The pack is open. The universe is generous. Loud chewing in peace.
Do we have policies? Zag ate the fine print.
No Returns. Only Vibes, Nuts, and Chaos
The moment you order, Zag performs a ritual. You're in Club Nuts™. We can't undo that. Returning a pack would summon Zag's lawyers. They're also crocodiles.
Low Carbon. Low Budget. High Crunch.
We don't pay influencers to look surprised near nuts. We rely on YOU, which saves electricity, cools the planet, delays the apocalypse by 9 seconds per share. You are basically a hero about to save planet Earth.
Fast-ish Delivery. Zag Is Trying.
Orders leave our top-secret Bhiwandi warehouse. If the delivery guy finds parking, Mercury isn't in retrograde, and Mumbai traffic doesn't eat itself, your nuts arrive in 2–4 days.
Here for you (sometimes).
Email us. DM us. Manifest us. We're a small team. Sometimes we're arguing about oregano ratios. Sometimes Zag has locked himself in the supply room. Will we reply? On odd days, or even or never!
Your snack confessions, answered.
I've been reading your DMs.
