JUST ONE MORE
Lying to myself again
Pack open. Said 'just one'. Pack closed. Said 'okay last'. Pack reopened. Said nothing. The lying is louder now.
nut mix
A SNACK THAT NEVER STOPS LOOPING
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PEPPER LEMON PANIC
00
ROGUE CHOCOLATE ORANGE
00
OUT LOUD OREGANO
00
NO CHILL LIME CHILLI
00
BERRY MISBEHAVED
00
Garlic Bread Bandit
00
Jalapeño Havoc
00
Salsa Scandal
00
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Trust me. I'm the science.
How relentless is Jalapeño?
We ran science on it. By "science" we mean five of us eating the pack & arguing. Here's the verdict:
01
FLAVOUR VOLUME
95%
02
JALAPEÑO KICK
90%
03
Crunch Factor
92%
04
Chill Level
8%
05
Shareability
4%
What you get per 33g pack.
Never been built for sharing, The chill score is eight percent. The havoc score is everything else. Cravings check out. Fibre does too.
// WHAT'S IN THE PACK, NUTRITION-WISE //
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
01
kcal
152 kcal
Enough fuel to silence cravings, hit your fibre quota, or binge nine episodes without a single guilt-pang.
02
protein
6g protein
Enough protein to crush cravings completely, justify the midnight raid, or feel virtuous mid-binge for once tonight.
03
magnesium
93mg magnesium
Enough magnesium to silence cravings, repair the day, and still loop through 6 more packs guilt-free entirely.
Fully reviewed by my dietician. Me
What’s NOT included?
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
CholesterolCholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
NO
Added oilWe don't deep-fry secrets
NO
boredomDoesn't need to "last" decades
NO
CholesterolCholesterol ? Not on our watch
NO
Added gyaanThe pack won't lecture you
Qualifications are for cowards
He's here. Deal with it
Zag lives inside the mind. Rent-free. Loud. Uninvited. Covered in tasty crumbs and questionable life choices. Try not to think about him. You will fail.
Born from a volcanic eruption of taste. Arrived with chaos-covered claws, a blank tax history, and zero patience for boring rules. Doesn't count macros. Counts conquests.
Meet Zag// moments to rip-eat-repeat //
Best eaten while…
or whenever
PACK 6/11
Counting losses, not packs
Pack 6. Stopped counting kcal. Started counting episodes. Series finale: 4 packs away. Self-control: out of office until further notice.
STREAK FAIL
Day 1, again
Sunday: pledged restraint. Monday: pack open. Tuesday: pack 3. Pack collection now has its own shelf. Restart Sunday.
MIDNIGHT LOOP
Pack 4, 1:23am
First pack was spicy, second salty, third tasty, lost count after the fourth. I am getting reckless!
WEEKEND OFF
Plans this Saturday
Saturday morning: shower, breakfast, pack open. Saturday afternoon: pack open, again. Sunday: refused all invitations. Surrendered to Jalapeno Havoc!
SUNDAY REGRET
Counting empty packs
Six wrappers on the floor. Two more hiding under the bed. Brain: 'never again'. Hand: 'one more'. Brain rarely wins now.
SPIRIT ANIMALS
Rum & spite at 11pm
That drink on a Friday - I deserved! Those oily snacks - naah! Nothing else is coming next to my drink except this Havoc.
RECLAMATION HIKE
Spicy trail mix moment
Hiking away from drama, one crunchy handful at a time. The jalapeño burns like your burnt bridges. Healing looks like this.
Do we have policies? Zag ate the fine print.
No Returns. Only Vibes, Nuts, and Chaos
The moment you order, Zag performs a ritual. You're in Club Nuts™. We can't undo that. Returning a pack would summon Zag's lawyers. They're also crocodiles.
Low Carbon. Low Budget. High Crunch.
We don't pay influencers to look surprised near nuts. We rely on YOU, which saves electricity, cools the planet, delays the apocalypse by 9 seconds per share. You are basically a hero about to save planet Earth.
Fast-ish Delivery. Zag Is Trying.
Orders leave our top-secret Bhiwandi warehouse. If the delivery guy finds parking, Mercury isn't in retrograde, and Mumbai traffic doesn't eat itself, your nuts arrive in 2–4 days.
Here for you (sometimes).
Email us. DM us. Manifest us. We're a small team. Sometimes we're arguing about oregano ratios. Sometimes Zag has locked himself in the supply room. Will we reply? On odd days, or even or never!
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I've been reading your DMs.
